i dont know the rights words to say, neither do i know the the perfect solution for you.
but i can safely tell you that i'll always be here for you.

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.” — Henri J.M. Nouwen

"it turns out freedom means nothing but missing you"
when i actually feel this way, then i'll know that i'm ready to be in a r/s.

alot of times i ask myself, what kind of girl would i fall for if i'm a guy?
i think i'll fall for a girl thats confident and independent, someone not needy, not clingy, not damsel in distress.
i'll fall for someone intelligent, someone that will fight for what she wants.
i'll fall for someone that dares to challenge me and make me a better person.
i'll fall for someone beautiful, both on the outside and the inside.
and while i'm nowhere close to becoming that girl yet,
i'm still learning and trying. every single day.

B
your (very) overdue post is here!
As usual I gave that night worth of conversation alot of thought
and i wanna tell you that while you're busying yourself with fyp, please take time off for yourself.
we can choose who to spend our time with, and its often with friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, family but seldom with ourself.
but more than anything, i hope you can find the balance within yourself.
i will always remember the first few months with loverboy as the craziest days of my life to date.
he opened a brand new world i've never seen, a world that i never thought existed.
and for once i would do anything to be in that world with him.
i went to the extreme. crossing border, cruising at 240 (still awesome!) breaking curfew just to name some.
but then i realise that if i have to keep up with that, then leonie will be gone.
because deep down i'm still a boring, slightly geeky, very predictable person.
i still like to un-occupy myself on weekends, to take hours reading saturday's newspaper with my coffee, to do boring things like homeworks at night, to spend hours on the piano or listening to the stereo.
and while i was trying to figure the whole thing out, that boy of mine told me it was all about balance.
that was his answer. so simple, so easy to what i thought was so complicated and so confusing.
like how i am(according to him), good and bad at the same time, crazy and boring at the same time.it's just about striking a balance
it's not about embracing one and despising the other, it's about having the best of both worlds.
and after that we start doing boring things and still get the kick from just being around each other. watching the planes (his dream!), or camping in bookshops (my favourite kill-time activity) or even people watching with mac's strawberry milkshake on hand.
sometimes it will take another person to help you figure all this out, sometimes it will have to be you yourself.
i dont want you to lose yourself, or to be someone else not yourself. somewhere in between, there's got to be a balance.
think about it.
take random chapters of coelho and reread it again.
and know that i have faith in you.
love,
cong

"Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadow" Coelho
its true, i'll still fight for you even if the whole world is against me.

说我傻得可以
还不是应为你

"can you close your eyes?"
"why?"
"so that i can steal a kiss."
starry night, east coast park, you.
sometimes i zoned out and daydream and think of you. and how you so easily stole my heart.
please come back in one piece. i miss you.

ps. B, i dont have the luxury of time now, but i do have a whole post for you i promise to write soon.

but a night like this,
how do i sleep?
How do i forget?
i tried to tell myself that its gonna be the last, but somehow i think you can feel it too, without me saying a word. And it breaks my heart to know that i'm breaking yours.
Tell me how to have a clean break with you?

the reason why love is so painful is because we feel ourself unworthy for love. Coelho wrote that and it is so true.
I wish i can make people think twice and reconsider. Loving me ain't exactly the wisest choice, neither is it a smart decision. you'll be playing with fire, and you're bound to get hurt somehow.
I'm always struggling to choose between the one i love and the one that loves me. Whose side are you on?

seriously cannot afford to break another heart.

my already very complicated life is gonna be much more complicated now.
someone please knock some sense into me :(

after a while i really give up trying to find out why people never believe when i say i'm single. the world is too strange for me.

nobody said it was easy
oh it's such a shame for us to part
nobody said it was easy
no one ever said it would be so hard
oh take me back to the start

just got off the phone and probably made my first crazy decision of the year.
whether it is out of guilt, out of insanity or out of love, i dont know.
but it doesn't matter, it never mattered.

thankyou for still thinking of me, but its a little too late now.

the alternative of hating someone is always loving them
and it is so much easier choosing the latter.
i hope you get the job, not just because of the higher pay, but because i think you'll be happier there.
maybe we're not good at being lovers, but that doesnt mean we cant be good at being friends.
occupying ourselves, being busy, is always a choice.
and its clear we've got different priorities now.
it may not have made much sense then, but now everything is falling into place.
and for once, i'm really really happy.
for you.for me.for us.

2010 is by far my most adventurous year
stepped out of my comfort zone, made new friends, met new people, explored new places, learnt new things and so much more.
for a while i thought i was falling in love, and even though it didnt materialise into forever or anything that sort, i never regretted him.or the whole experience.
2010 wasnt the best year or most emotional rollercoaster year, but it was a good year.
i survived and i'm pretty sure 2011 is gonna be a good year.
for 2011, i just want to be happy.
shall enjoy my last 9days before schools starts!